In the Woods Finding Faith--The Scenic Route

This past weekend I spent six hours in the woods hiking with my boyfriend. He likes to work out and be active, I like to be in nature.  Our hobby co-insides but our motives sometimes leads to compromise.

In this case I chose a location, the Walls of Jericho, right outside of Scottsboro, AL where I thought both our hiking ideals would be met. The hike is vigorous, while only six miles round trip, the terrain is very steep and the slope is known to be slick. There are multiple warnings from hikers and the park association that this hike is difficult for people who are in shape (they estimate it will take at least four hours to get through the trail).

I learned this weekend that I am not anywhere near in shape, and my mate, who works out every day, is also not appropriately in shape for this hike. Something meant to be a fun, thoughtful, into nature/photography and semi-religious hike was incredibly grueling, though surprisingly still religious for me (just not the experience I expected to have).

My last post here I compared Alabama autumn to Massachusetts autumn. In particular I discussed how my fall routine is different. The Walls of Jericho was very reminiscent of an early fall hike in MA. The temperature dropped into the mid forties, which was pleasant with my fleece and a backpack to tote. The wind on the hill side had just a hint of the frost penetration I'm used to.

It strikes me what a critical difference in the feeling of the land I get just an hour and a half northeast from where I live. Instead of the leaves showing peak colors, they are flagging just a little. Instead of lush valleys and deep wide streams, there were jagged rocks, steep cliff ledges, and dry winding river beds.

The land itself didn't have the same feeling of divine presence I have here. I know my local Land God's limits. I drive to work outside of Zir sphere of influence. I can feel Zir presence fade and the Tennessee River welcome me. Still, even out of “direct influence” from my God, I can get a sense that there is a relationship between my home land God and the land God who rules the physical land I work on. There is acknowledgment, respect, an awareness of a shared realm, and separate relationships with the Tennessee River which divides their areas of influence.

The land at Jericho doesn't seem to have the same kind of ties back to my Land. I got a sense of some kind of divine at Jericho, but it was more reserved. Perhaps it's because of the time of year, as there is clearly a drought in that place now, and bird migration appears to be in full swing, as opposed to just starting as it is here. There may just not be enough resources or time to bring out a big welcome wagon for a passerby. Perhaps because approximately 300 people a day travel through Jericho when weather is nice, the land there doesn’t make connections with people until it sees further commitment, or how one fairs in the trails. Whatever the case, it just further served to highlight how hospitable my own local Gods have been to me and how blessed I am that they reached out and welcomed me when I first arrived in Alabama. It's easy to forget that I'm not the one who reaches out and makes connections all on my own, they are mutually forged.

Because the incline of the hillside is so steep, the path we walked is set as a long winding set of zig zagging diagonals to help make the slope more navigable. While it doesn't look like a labyrinth, there is much the same effect. As we trotted a long the path and later staggered back, the mate and I had a chance to pass and be passed by many people in many different states.  We played tag with a few people swapping which of our groups was blazing the trail first.  I often stopped and looked around to observe where we were relative to others and what their state seemed to be. The way the trail loops one can be parallel with other hikers but still be mildly obscured through foliage as one may be in a labyrinth. I liked having a chance to observe people this way and socialize in that quiet pleasant way we both know won't go any further than this path. I felt like I had a chance to connect to a bunch of different walks of life all in one outing and I also had a chance to notice who wasn't present on the path with us.

Perhaps my favorite part of the trip, was that I got to walk back in a dry river bed. It wasn't part of the planned program.  The actual path had us walking on a narrow, rocky, steep terrain where I kept looking down to see the dry, rocky but flat river bed.  I told the mate "We're so walking back in that river bed".  He laughed and was dumbfounded when about fifty feet in to our return trip, he realized I had actually left the path and gone into the river bed.  It was so worth it.  I might even recommend walking back in the river when it's wet, given the current isn't terrible and one is equipped for it.

 I felt like a little kid with my big bag of trail mix, jumping from stone to stone and munching. I could see each and every stone the river had rounded, shaped, moved, and placed. I climbed over brush piles still strapped in spots the current had driven them. The mate and I each chose a side of a small island of dirt and debris the river had created to walk around. This river bed was dry now and the land in Jericho may have been going into hibernation, but there is massive power waiting to shape, change, drive, and create. Walking through the evidence of one aspect of that power, when so much is often hidden or observed without thought, was meaningful to me.

So magical part of this trip was being out in nature, even when it isn't a serene meditative walk has powerful meaning and value once I catch my breathe. The practical part of this trip is that I need to work out more and stick to less vigorous trails so I don't have to worry I won't make it back to my car by dark. 

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Pre-Samhain Local Land Worship Meanderings

The pagan adjacent boyfriend wanted to help me celebrate the autumn season, so he suggested we go to a haunted house. I went and I enjoyed it, but of course wandering through an abandoned school that's been purchased and re-vamped into a Haunted House that predominately features cannibalism of different genres, ax murders, insane asylum patients, and clowns has nothing to do with my holiday. He sort of know that, but he feels lost in helping to support my faith where he sees I'm not doing what I've talked about doing back in Massachusetts.

I think it's hard for him to grasp the concept that my Neo-Paganism is locally connected and I will celebrate seasonal changes differently in Alabama vs Massachusetts. It's true this time of year was magnificent in Massachusetts. It was starting to get cold, there's about a 50% chance that a frost has happened already (it has this year). All these local farm stands and harvest-ish themed things seem to appear over night. There were a lot of hot drinks and hot fresh meals. Apple donuts, pumpkin donuts, cakes, pies, fresh acorn squash and butternut squash. Apples as far as the eye could see!

Beyond that, there was this strong tie to colonial times in MA. There were Victorian homes everywhere. Pagan/new thought and the general population liked to connected modern celebrations with older ones. Honey sticks, herb gardens, ghost walks more information that scare , apple bobbing, donuts on the string. All the semi-traditional things were still celebrated by the general populace.

Also, because it was getting cold, there really was this sense of urgency to batten down the hatches and prepare for winter. There is a real concern regarding purchasing heating oil, wrapping up summer gear, purchasing enough canned goods that should one be stranded one could still eat. I associate all of this as part of what I should be doing and what I should be looking for in others this times of year. I can't say how much of a relief mild winters are and at the same time, how it leaves me both in me practice and life sometimes at a loss.

There is way less work involved. There is no sense of urgency along with the crazy joy that nature is beautiful and brutal. There is always thankfulness for lovely days, but the praise seems less meaningful when every day is beautiful and mild and the coming winter will be soft compared to what I know. It's true this year our summer was brutally hot and dry. I watched corn literally burn away over the course of a day in the relentless sun. In some ways, this winter will be a relief. Everyone here thinks it will be unusually cold and wet, which will kill all the extra bugs we have, restore our water table, and hopefully heal some hurting farms for the spring.

Some of my practices will be the same. My reverence for my ancestors is more or less the same. This year my celebration will be especially focused on my Grandfather as he passed in Aug of last year and his birthday was Oct 28^th, I feel particularly close to him right now. My reiki meditation will essentially be the same, though the themes, the requests, and the healing is somewhat changed.

My month of semi-public celebration is very different here. I am spending more time in quiet reflection before Samhain than I ever have before. This kind of quieted mind used to come as I burned out all my frantic energy in preparations for the fall. I am reminded of the fable of the hard working ant and the lazy grasshopper: all my life I've been the ant and now even though my preparations for the seasons are appropriate, I feel like the grasshopper.

I am walking out in nature more often. I spend hours at the Tennessee river where I feel particularly connected to the river's divinity. I walk slowly and thoughtfully. I wander off the path and through the woods or into the river to explore and contemplate. I feel like a baby who has to put everything in it's mouth to learn what it is and what it means.

Right now, I feel that Alabama requires more complex acknowledgments than MA lands did. There is death and decay in the land right now. I can see it in the trees, smell it in some areas, and I feel that old ending magic I did in MA in areas of the land. With that energy is the energy of life still in full bloom, berries are all over tons of the bushes an trees, cotton is in process of harvest, flowers are still blooming, the sun is still out for huge swathes of time, and the weather itself still gets up to the 80s most days. There's actually this sense that AL is a safe haven and that more life is coming in soon to partake in the offerings. Song bird and water bird migrations have just started in these parts and will be in their peak in November.

I'm still coming to terms with the idea that there will be more than snow for me to look forward to in November. I feel like that quiet shut down I expected to come at Samhain time, won't really hit until the beginning of December.

For now I'm going to try to keep my mind quiet and open. I want to hear what my Gods and the land is telling me. I'll leave this post with a few pictures I've taken of Alabama fall in attempts to see, understand, and worship the land. 

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From Someone Who Values Knowledge and Living Together in Society More Than They Value the Pleasure of Fickle Gods

You know I occasionally do a google + hunt of all things pagan to see what's on the top page. Probably because it's Halloween time this post came in on the top of the page (warning reading the post linked to may cause anger among other non-believers).

It's ok with me that Pennie De is against paganism/the occult/ religion that doesn't involve Jesus. As far as I'm concerned, her accusations of Satanism is just a born again Christian acting like a born again Christian and I can over look it.

I am deeply disturbed by where she writes: “ ....the one thing that always ticked God off the most was when His people adopted the customs of the pagans. It was an abomination to Him”

First off Christians have borrowed and stolen so much from ancient paganism, exactly what does one decide to cut out?  This isn't an accusatory statement, it's virtually impossible to be immersed in a culture and not borrow at least their building style.  Modern pagans have a similar challenge in identifying what is Christian bias in our culture or thought system and whether it has a place in a pagan religious structure.  I understand her lament regarding familiarizing the self with certain rituals, finding comfort and meaning in them, and then having to go back and either re-structure them, or acknowledge they have no place in your life for various reasons.  I like to think this is neither a Pagan, Christian, nor Convert thing but something all thoughtful people must do from time to time in their practice to stay authentic to who they are now. 

Secondly whether Halloween itself is pagan or not is kind of debatable.

Thirdly, are you really going to cut yourself off from new thought, technology, discovery, and culture because a Christian didn't come up with it? This seems like a knee jerk reaction to the word pagan more than anything else.

It's one thing to try not to just pick and choose bits of other pieces of other people's culture for your own entertainment or personal fulfillment without true consideration or thought, but it's another entirely to reject all that is not of your religion.

Isolating yourself from society and how others interact with the world will stagnate a faith. It's not just about people passing a faith over for something “cooler”, it's about a religion's slow loss to make deep meaningful connection between different people and the world around them. I think religion loses a lot when it can no longer make connections between one person and another, when it can't be inserted into one's day to day life, when a deity requires one withdraw from society instead of going out and interacting.

I know Pennie De never intended to withdraw from society, but rather she aims to remold it in a manner pleasing to her God. I suppose I don't understand why an all knowing all powerful deity doesn't choose to be the change ze wishes to see in the world. I don't understand why such a god with the means forces zir follower's to withdraw from the world and abstain instead of sending them forth to live richly and deeply with others. Why is such a God angered by zir followers looking at and sharing in other's customs? Why would adapting these customs to further worship the one true god be harmful? If it so deeply offends why does this God allow it on this earth period?

I am saddened for a group of worshipers that are supposed to have an all powerful God but whom seem to be constantly retreating into their own faith and circles away from an open group conversation. I am afraid of people who reject knowledge and learning out of hand because their God or their people didn't come up with it. Let the information or tradition succeed or fail on it's own merits.

Also, should Pennie De ever read this I'd like her to know that I, like her, will probably be at home praying on Halloween.  The difference it that my prayers will be to my Gods, guides, and ancestors. Instead of combating evil or trying to cajole others into changing I will be thanking them for what I have and asking them for guidance in what I want to accomplish in the new year.  I hope that Pennie De finds her prayers as deep and fulfilling as mine will be, though I can't exactly hope her prayers are answered.

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Sinister: a Film Review

For those who don't know, Sinster is a recently released horror film. The plot is the standard a family moves into a home and creepy things start happening theme. The “hook” or “twist” in this movie vs other movies where families move into homes with creepy things happening is that these creepy things are being caused by he “pagan deity Bughuul ”.

As a horror buff I want to say that the movie is acceptable. The pacing is good and the movie doesn't go on too long. While the “twists” and “turns” are predicable the movie does make them still enjoyable.  While there is a little too much repetition of the same super 8 film work gore, the scares and twists do inpire legitimate jumps and startles. The music and lighting is excellent. The characters are believable and the acting is good. An extra special kudos goes out to the children acting leads Michael Hall D'Addario and Clare Foley whose performance really draws the viewer into the drama both in their commitment to character and in the viewer's concern for them. I would recommend it as a causal Halloween scare and a good way to spend almost two hours, but I wouldn't mark it as outstanding or a must see.

As a pagan, I was interested initially in the plot. We as a group aren't mentioned, but the idea of a pagan god as a central horror theme intrigued me. I was further interested in seeing how a god who “actually lived in the images themselves and they were gateways into his realm” would strike terror and fear into the family of the film and the audience viewing. Warning beyond this point there are spoilers regarding the plot and semantics of the film.

On the score of Bughuul I was disappointed.While  Baghuul is a fictional god so no actual deities were slandered in the making of this film, the term deity is terribly abused. A quick refresh deity according to webster's online is:

“a : the rank or essential nature of a god : divinity

b capitalized : god 1, supreme being

2: a god or goddess <the deities of ancient Greece>

3: one exalted or revered as supremely good or powerful”

I don't see how this definitions lines up with the the local occult expert's description of Baghuul as a Sumerian pagan Deity known for consuming childern's souls. Ok, so the Deity has a dark side, a ritual sacrifice kind of vibe, not unheard of please continue Mr. Occult expert on other things Baghuul does. Oh wait, that's it, Baghuul eats kids—why is he worshiped again? You can't just call something a certain label and make it so, there has to be corresponding traits. Seems like we could have swapped the term “pagan deity” for monster, been more accurate and not opened ourselves to the scrutiny of what makes a god. 

Who erects temples and ritually sacrifices to a being that offers nothing in return? At least round out the stereo type by making Baghuul give a bountiful harvest or untold powers or sight into the future or safe passage through underworld. Heck, I'd have settled for Baghuul giving out a fruit basket just so long as there was a reason he had temples to start with. Instead I have to believe that Sumerians worshiped an immortal minotaur who can walk between dimensions through portraits that humans have to create for him.

At least the occult expert believes it's pretty impossible that anyone is worshiping Baghuul (it's kind of sad we still have to give points out when they don't blame or accuse the pagans) through these murders, he just thinks Baghuul is some kind of symbol for initiation into a group (cue the humanist pagans-they go through the ritual but Baghuul is just a metaphor).

Beyond Baghuul failing to be God like—he fails to have limited power either. In the beginning the author finds a tape with a bunch of Baghuul killings in it. He sees the image of Baghuul and also apparently exposes his kids to these images somehow ( the how part is kind of unknown as he's always watching the images alone and he's very careful not to let his family in to his office, even locking it when he's not around). The question here is where does Baghuul keep all these super 8 copies of his murders? Does he keep them in his other realm and trot them out right after the house has been cleaned and ready for sale somehow? Does he allow the children he devours to stay around in our realm until they can plant his super 8 images?  Maybe Baghuul's God like power or gift is that he can drop an image of himself and all those he devours or kills where ever he wants?

Let's say I roll with the kid taking the video, hiding, and planting Baghuul's imaged before the child is eaten. How do these images end up in the author's old house with extended cuts? For a deity that can only come from one realm to another through graven images and possession of children he'll be eating, this guy has a lot of resources to get his picture out there. Maybe Baghuul should start working for a child's talent agency? I don't like that the movie didn't stick to the own limit of power they imposed on their imaginary god.

Another thing that strikes me as odd, is why does Baghuul destroy whole families? Why not take the susceptible kid and go? For that matter why not possess the vulnerable kid, use that one to take all other child family members and leave the adults behind fumbling? Seems like killing other family child members is a waste of food a least.

We could have had a really good monster movie about a being, I refuse to call him a god, who can travel from his world to ours through an image, implant himself in a human mind and possess people. We could have had people fumbling around who didn't understand or believe the rules. We could have had children luring other children into his clutches and slowing killing off adults who were in their way.  We could have seen parents strive to find ways to save their already possessed children through some form of exorcism or calling on a more powerful god or we could have watched parents murder possessed children in an attempt to save non-effected children and perhaps had a close up where realizing that their other child had been exposed to Baghuul and will be next, they choose a grizly murder over watching their child's soul slowly being devoured and giving power to this monster.

 We could have made Baghuul more ambitious and had him desire to slowly take over this realm or have him building strength to do battle with other gods and possibly gain more powers/realms. Instead we have a God who is not really a God with limited powers like those a polytheistic pantheon may support, who becomes all powerful when it suits the writers, basically creating a stereo typed mess in a stereo typed ritual manner.

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Welcome To Southern Pagan Muses!

I want to welcome everyone who found this site to the official opening of the Southern Pagan Muses blog!  Southern Pagan gets is name from the regional area the author Swift Rabbit live in.  She was a born and raised in Massachusetts, but moved to Huntsville Alabama approximately two years ago.  The changes in her religious experience have been profound, so she intends to bring that "southern" influence into her writings at this blog.  The name itself is both meant to describe the kind of writings found in the blog and be a play off of the famous Southern Living magazine.   Within the blog you will hopefully find welcome, an active discussion, and possibly some ideas to add into your own practice. 

The issues discussed in Southern Pagan will range based off of the season, and whims of Swift Rabbit.  The blog is meant mostly to be an editorial with a few shopping tips, ritual ideas, and tarot spreads thrown in the mix.

What We Do:
1. Southern Pagan Muses is committed to created between three to seven weekly posts that are no longer than one to five pages in length.  The goal is to be current and to the point.

2. Currently Southern Pagan has two reoccurring segments: one where Swift Rabbit blogs through the Delphic Maxims and the other where Swift Rabbit is blogging through the online Crystal Wind Rider Book of Shadows.  In her Delphic Maxims segment she is discussing what she does or does not find morally relevant to herself from the original list of maxims.  In the Crystal Wind Rider BOS segment she is commenting on the original work, adding to it in some areas, or taking a theme from the orginal work and expounding on it.

3. Other topics that will pop up often include magic, seasons, local gods, reiki, energy work, and other online posts.

A Little About Swift Rabbit:

In Swift Rabbit's religious life she is a Hard Polytheistic Monist Eclectic Neo-Pagan with strong outer court Wicca, Reiki, and traditional Italian lore influence.  She has been practicing for a decade, and writing for about as long.  Her religious experiences are primarily personal in nature and have been with guides and local gods.

In the rest of Swift Rabbit's life she is an avid writer, a home maker, an explorer, and works as a general manager in the food service industry.  

Weekly Tarot Share

I work a lot with tarot cards, for more on why I do that I have a post called: Why I Use Tarot.  This post is more of my attempt to bring my experience with tarot into the discussion here.  The following is the daily reading I've done for myself today.

Four Messages to Carry With me Today Per the Halloween Tarot  (review of tarot at aeclectic):

The Star: This card is thought of as the calm after the storm of the Tower. I've faced the unreality or intentional self deceptions with in my life plans (hopefully-I've tried to be very realistic, but I never know for sure until I'm knee deep in a mess) and what's left is the hope, inspiration, and beginnings of a new strong project. I believe that this card is talking about my blog directly here. I've wanted to write one one about religion for a while, and I've spent a few months looking up different ways to go about writing, getting my thoughts out to a larger audience successfully, how to online network, how I can do this and still work a full time job and live an active offline life. It's daunting, but a series of events in my personal life have signaled that now is the time.

So today, like the star card is a day of new beginnings, of hope, and creativity. My energy is focused on the spiritual/divine aspect in the this card more than the social and structural aspects of actually starting a successful blog. I know I have to face those and work as hard, perhaps harder on those ends, but in writing this post and drawing my cards, I have no choice but to turn inward and hear what it before me instead of what would make the best post or what I could drive people here with.

Two of Pumpkins: The two of pentacles (pumpkins in this deck) should be my repeating life theme. The card signifies that I am juggling two very differing aspects of my life trying to find balance and sure footing between two objects or ideas that need my time and attention. This particular deck shows a literal light hearted juggler balancing two pumpkins but if you look at the expression on the juggler's face, you will see her smile is very similar to a frown of concentration. Disaster can strike if she drops what she is managing. In the real world we often perceive a disastrous end to the “show” if we drop the ball too, but it is important to remember, that a good juggler, can drop everything in the act and recover for a huge audience applause at the end.

It seems I always have one foot in the intangible world and one in the real world. It's probably my major life struggle to balance this pull I feel towards an ideal life path and the reality it takes to get there. If money were no object, I know I'd float away in hypothetical and religious intangibles and never look back. I'd be happier and my life would be easier, but I think that I would lose my connection to others whom are struggling in much the same way. I don't always feel this way, especially when this card comes up, but my connection to something more than myself is a huge gift that I may use for positive change, so long as I don't drift too far into ether that I no long can relate to others.

This card is a huge message for me because I'd love to get lost in what I love, where I feel confident, and in work I feel I was placed here to do. However, to survive, I need to reserve some focus for my day job and for the people who are put in front of me and what their needs are. I have a lot to contribute, but I can't get so caught up in contributing my thoughts and experiences that I neglect the finances and people who have made it possible for me to speak up.

Ten of Pumpkins: This card shows a child wandering blindfolded towards an unknown object which he hopes to swing at, hit, and receive reward for. I think everyone knows the feeling of wandering in blind to what we hope is a good opportunity and working in good faith to see if we can achieve rewards. While the feeling is unsettling, this card is a good omen. It implies that hard earnest work will achieve massive rewards. Beyond the excitement and thrill of the candy in the pinata, there is a a ladder on the tree that will lead the child up to untold amounts of reward. Once I get the hang of this new project, taste the beginnings of rewards from it, the blindfold will come off (as I will have experience and know what I'm doing), and I'll be able to apply that knowledge easily to earn larger rewards.

Another thing this card points out that is important to nervous people like myself, is while we feel exposed and at risk during the beginning of our journey, we're not. Being in the dark and wandering around with a stick feels very scary. From viewing this card as an outsider though, I can see the danger to child (myself) is in is minimal. The ground is free of anything that may trip me, and the person pulling the string of the pumpkin while masked, is an impersonal obstacle. He has not targeted the child, and he doesn't care about the child's success or loss. He only cares about his specific job of moving the pinata up and down, there is no malice personal or otherwise from him, he is only doing his job to make sure those who hit the pinata have earned their rewards.

Six of Pumpkins: This reading was meant to be a standard three card pull, but as I was putting the deck away this one fell out and I decided to add it in. This does happen fairly often, whether it's because I have the world's smallest adult hands or because divine always has a little more to say than I intend to pull is immaterial as the cards always seem relevant and helpful. In this case the card is even in line with the suit my reading has been in.

This card re-emphasizes the unexpected success in the Ten of Pumpkins. The two cards diverge in where in the process they show me, as the Ten of Pumpkins shows me swinging blindly for reward, while the six of Pumpkins shows me already with these rewards in hand.

The concept that I will have more than enough is prevalent as the witch in the card is giving candy to trick or treaters without anxiety and there bowl she has is large and overflowing. This brings in a new element of the reading.  Once I have earned my rewards, I need to give back to the community which has helped me achieve success. I believe in charity, good work and giving back to the community both monetarily, through prayer/ritual, and in writing/giving shout outs/ adding positively to the discussion. This card is a reminder that achieving reward for hard work isn't the end of the journey, I have to remember to give back to my community and to give credit to all those who have helped me get to where I am.

Even though this is the beginning of my blog project and I have no following or anything but my writing and ideas right now, there are still people who have made this start possible without whom I'd never have attempted this. I need to keep those people in mind and remember to continue to support them. My mind wanders particularly to Jason Pitzl-Waters at the Wild Hunt who is the gold standard of pagan blogging and whom needs the community's financial support in particular right now (I've already donated if you have any income to spare go help Jason be independent pagan press, we need someone like him and his services working for us). My mind also wanders to Star Foster and her new blog Beyond Pink, she is currently transitioning in a huge move and life change. As someone who's done something similar I understand how much she needs community support. There are my gods, my guides, and a million personal people near me who have encouraged, bolstered, and otherwise helped me be at this juncture. I will strive to support them in their own projects and life paths as they have mine.

Over All Thoughts On the Reading:

This reading was heavily focused on both the creation of this new blog which is a baby I've been imagining for years and working towards actively for a few months, but it also drew in some interesting thoughts about maintaining my day job and keeping up relationships with people.  I liked the well rounded feeling of the reading. I like how it captured the mindset I had when I drew the cards and I thought that the advice was directly applicable to my life right now. While I was focused on today specifically, I did appreciate who the cards drew out what may be a possible outcome of my actions today.

An interesting thing to note is that while the reading starts out in the spiritual world and intangibles like inspiration and hope, it immediately grounds to the material work with pumpkins (pentacles in a traditional tarot). This shows that while the blog I'm starting may be about religion, god, and faith, there are specific material outcomes I want and there are direct steps I need to take to reach these goals. It won't be enough to connect to a divine line and write, I'll have to reach out to others to comment/read. I'll have to make writing tag lines that will pop on a search engine, and I'll have to create supporting media to bring others in. I have to do all this and balance working a full time 60-70hr a week job, keep up relationships with those close to me, and continue to practice as I see fit. It's a tall order, but it's something I'm going to try for.

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