The Pagan Vibe Opting In

I'm going to pagan meetup this morning.  I go every other week when I don't work because part of me really  really needs more community here in the south.  I'm a reflective, nature loving, sensitive, socially liberal woman in an area where as a whole I've noticed the people are kinder but usually less reflective and often wrongly categorized as less smart (even by me when I'm being lazy or when I'm in a fit of temper).  Long story short people here are even less like me than they were up north.  They are kind, they allow me to exist but often just as I'm getting comfortable with a person they start railing against abortion, talking earnestly about creationism, or the new hot button topic to hate Obamacare.  There are conversations I don't want to have, especially not in a "casual" setting where there is literally no way for me to shut these folks when they don't accept "I don't want to talk about that" or "we have to agree to disagree".

So I go to pagan coffee and we sit down and talk about nothing and everything.  Several people their open carry to coffee, they still rail against Obamacare, and their traditions are nothing like mine (last time I went someone even mistakenly said I was an eclectic without any practice--eclectic yes but I practice and experience the divine just fine).  You know what though, in the midst of this online battle of pagans not treating each other like we are all on the same side, these people do teat me well--like I am a welcomed guest.  We don't practice the same, but we already know that and we make space to listen to each other.  We don't have the same values, but we come to the table to express ideas earnestly, and we listen to out opposition as if the other person had a rational thinking mind and was able to come to their own equally responsible decision on a topic, even if we have to agree to disagree. 

That's my version of a pagan unifying theme.  We're a whole bunch of people who you know what honestly don't fit together most of the time.  We may look a like to an outsider (and my group doesn't even do that) but we have depths that divide us as deeply.  It's like ocean, sure we categorize it  all the same but what it's like at the surface vs the bottom is not the same--the sea floor is like it's own world really.

What unifies us is that we decided we wanted community.  We decided we were going to come together and do all the things you have to do to develop community like listen to each other and have genuinely open conversation.  We've decided to build on what we have in common, a love of the outdoors, in our case a sense of environmental responsibility (though I will say it is NOT religious for everyone), and an enjoyment of crafting/art creation. 

If opting in and being a good host is what makes us a pagan community, I can live with that.  It's more than some people have.  But it means that we as a whole do need to listen better to each other and think more before writing in our online community.  There are a million blogs I enjoy reading, but I realized that I don't consider a lot of them contributions to the pagan community and I've seen others that are contributions, even needed criticism that are treated as attacks. We don't have to agree and that's awesome because we aren't going to agree.  We don't have to choose kindness every time, but I would love to see more people stop to think.  As pagans we are only have community if we opt in.  What does opting in mean to you?  And how do you choose to approach someone forging as you are, to create common group and an open welcoming community?

Offerings and Whether or Not I'm Doing it Right

What, if anything do you offer to the Gods or to your Guides or to your Ancestors? What do you do with the offering after the ceremony/ritual/presentation? How do you is your offering enjoyed/received and is this always the same reaction? When do you make offerings? Does your deity/guide/ancestor ever make demands of offerings when you had no plans to give them?

I ask because the concept of offerings fascinates me. It seems like every book or ritual I read right now no matter the source, integrates offerings on the most basic level. Usually the offering is some kind of food/beverage. I understand how this idea came about. Most pagans have some value on hospitality, and when inviting a deity into our home or lives or practice, it seems best to offer them something to eat or drink as we would any other guest. Beyond that, if we are asking something from a more powerful knowing being, it only makes sense we offer up something of ourselves in return. How else do we demonstrate respect if we offer nothing when meeting a deity?

My problem with offering food/items to another being is what do I do with this stuff after the ritual is over. Especially food where it can not sit an indefinite time inside and will attract unwanted critters if it's left alone outside. What do people do with this stuff afterward? It seems disrespectful to throw away a portion of something I've assigned to deity and it seems a waste of the food. In the case of my land gods, I suppose I could ritually release my offering to the sewer system, via the garbage disposal, is that like a cosmic doggy bag?

In the case of items I offer to Gods, am I supposed to hold onto all that forever? I mean if I make an offering for ever ritual have that's a ridiculous amount of stuff to build up. With coin and money offerings, should I be able to donate the money after a certain time and which charities would my Gods accept? Am I just going to have a small dragon's hoard of quarters and dollar coins around my symbols of deity, and do my deities even value a concept of human wealth?

Personally, I think I'd like to offer more to my Gods, guides, and ancestors, but I'm unsure on how to implement it. There's a lot of talk about how to offer in ritual, and very little about what to do with the stuff when the ritual is done that is responsible (I don't think leaving food outside or leaving non-organic material outside is responsible and further I don't think most pagans have access to an outside space to worship so this plan isn't really a feasible premise).

What I do offer is often candles and incense. I like the ritual of dressing the candles, blessing them, charging them, and lighting them. A lite candle can give me a focus point in a meditation and it can feel like opening a door into deity. I like the symbolism of offering my Gods light, power, heat, passion, and hope. I can use the size of the candle to dictate the length or a ritual or period I plan to make offerings. The best part about a candle, is that I can just keep lighting it and enjoying it until it burns out, in which case, I may dispose of the candle.

With incense there is a similar blessing, charging and lighting process. The stick lasts for shorter periods than the candle does, and the scent can correspond to deity, mood, or type of offering. Again the best part about this sort of offering is that when it's used, I can dispose if it. I suppose I could store he ashes for some kind of religious use, but if you can't tell from this post, I don't like to collect things either for myself or my deity.

I prefer to make offerings of my time and energy, in the form of meditation, hiking, or wandering sacredly lands mindfully. Occasionally I've been moved to make an offering of writings or sacred words. Those experiences are entirely different than the experiences I have with objects because they are rarer, more spontaneous, and are clearly required by my deity, they're almost puled from me.

With candle offerings, it's a ritual respect thing, the same way I offer someone a drink when they enter my home. Deity, especially the one which values hospitality wants it but Ze doesn't compel it. I often wonder if I'm offering the right things. When I offer someone something to drink at my home, sometimes I can tell they've picked the least offensive of the choices instead of choosing what they wanted to have. I wonder if deity is ever doing that too.

At the same time, I always strive to be the best host I can be, and sometimes it isn't about what is on offer but that someone made the offer regardless of the cost to them.

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